I thought today I’d showcase some essays written by third graders on the subject of Thanksgiving. Their childlike innocence could teach us all a thing or two.

I want to thank my mom and dad because they gave me life and that is impourtant to me. They are good to me and I love them. This year, I am going to help make the dinner because I will help with the stuffing.

-Emily Redner

I want to thank the GOD because without GOD we would all be dead because he gave us life. Not mom and dad. I love my mom and dad but without GOD there would be no erth so I am thankful to GOD.

-Daniel Glonek

I want to thank Danial because he has just shown us why religus people are so stupid. Danial would thank an invisible “being” for life but not his parents who actully created him. He should get a clue.

-Emily Redner

I want to thank GOD for giving me strength to deal with Emily’s blasphemy. She is an atheest and my dad says her and her family will burn forever. I am thankful they will not pollute heaven with their toxic cynicism.

-Daniel Gloneck

I want to thank this guy over here for causing a whole lot of wars in the name of Jesus. That was a joke – I was being sarcastic. I do not want to thank Danial because wars are bad and people die. Is that what GOD wants?

-Emily Redner

I want to thank GOD for helping Emily lern how to spell my name correctly — Daniel — and for her over simpelefecation of the facts. Yes people war in the name of religon but they are usually really about other stuff like oil which GOD wants us to have.

-Daniel Glonek

I want to thank Yu-Gi-Oh for defending the world with his playing cards. I want to be a Duel Master some day and I hope to go to Duel Academy or at least Hogwarts. My dad can afford it because he is very rich.

-Steve Lenn