It’s fair to say that I’m a proponent of Denny’s Restaurants, having eaten there over 700 times in 2008. However, despite my innate love for their onion rings and dessert nachos, Denny’s is going beyond food in 2009. They are going to save the world’s economy. Not Obama, my friends. Denny’s. How? With one little coupon, that’s how.

One day, I polished off “Taking Back Sunday's Melty Grilled Chicken and Sausage Quesadilla” and my waitress gave me a Christmas card. Nobody gives me Christmas cards, what with my grotesque, acne and grease-covered face from eating WAY too much Denny’s (but really, can you ever drink too much ranch dressing?), so this came as quite a surprise. Inside the card was a coupon for two dollars off my next meal, along with an awe inspiring message:

“In today’s topsy-turvy economy, we’re all facing tough financial challenges. That’s why we’d like to give you this $2 Denny’s Dinner Dollar.”

Of course, it’s all so simple now! To save the economy, you don’t have to bail out major banks and corporations. You need to bail out the people by giving us a little something towards our next Slamburger. I wish Uncle Sam would learn a little from my Uncle Denny’s.

Is it unrealistic to expect a new Denny’s coupon to fix the economy on its own? No, perhaps we’ll still need to rely on older coupons and breakfast specials in 2009. Gas prices falling is also a big help, since it’ll cost less to go to Denny’s via car. However, Denny’s discounts can pretty much handle the economic damage without any government spending. It’s called trickle down economics, named after delicious syrup trickling down a stack of tasteless, odorless pancakes.

This Christmas, one company gave us something back. Instead of taking our tax dollars, Denny’s is giving us an almost free Razzdando (TM) to help jump start the economy. God bless you, Denny’s. You are America’s greatest treasure, ahead of our children.