Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
NASA: Don’t Pussy Out On “Colbert”
“LULZ: the winner of all online polls.” -Fact of the Internet
When the MTV Europe Music Awards asked the internet who was the “Best Act Ever,” 4ch ebaumsworld overwhelmed the online vote and Rick Astley beat Madonna, Green Day and U2 for the award. When the Transformers movie held their “Make Prime Speak” contest, which let fans vote for a line of dialogue that Optimus would say in the film, “Do A Barrel Roll” blew the other lame lines out of the water. However, unlike MTV Europe, Transformers pussied out and didn’t use the line.
Now NASA must decide whether they’re awesome or a bunch of queerbos. They recently held an online vote to name a room in their space station and the winner was “Colbert,” thanks to the powerful Colbert Nation. Steven Colbert’s fans wrote in and won with over +200,000 votes, clobbering NASA’s favored name “Serenity.” Serenity? Why not just name the satellite “Joss Whedon Handjob?” Seriously, that name sucks ass.
Look, NASA. You knew what you were getting into with the online voting. You’re all a bunch of nerds — I bet several of you voted for John Linnell to be named People Magazine’s “Most Beautiful Person of 1998.” So if you didn’t want to give the space station a joke name, then why bother opening up naming rights to the internets?
I say, follow through. You guys put a man on the moon, now you’re gonna name part of your space station after Steven Colbert. Or does NASA stand for “Nancyboy Asshole Stupid Ahhhh?”
Well, does it?
3 Comments
March 27th, 2009 at 1:40 am
I’m happy to see your idea of TV presence precedes any sense of science and intelligence. Your world obvisously is more engaged in popular media than, say, the exploration of the universe, or the benefits that come from that.
Grow a pair.
March 27th, 2009 at 8:50 am
BAT, you monumental idiot,
In what way is naming the module ‘Colbert’ going to hinder “the exploration of the universe”? Does the module stop functioning unless we give it a name that it personally deems acceptable? Does a generic name like ‘Serenity’ somehow enhance it’s capabilities?
Because otherwise there is no basis for your bullshit.
The name doesn’t mean diddly dick. In fact they could call the damn thing ‘diddly dick’ and it would still serve the same purpose.
This has nothing to do with the exploration of space. This is about naming to a hunk of metal.
Grow a pair. Of humor receptors.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:46 am
“Grow a pair. Of Humor Receptors.”
I’m gonna try and insert this phrase into casual conversation, every chance I get.
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