I’m excited to be part of The Graphic Textbook, an educational comics anthology for kids! If the book gets funded, I’ll be writing a Pokemon parody called Probamon, about an impetuous young nerd trying to capture probability monsters (“gotta know the odds!“), to be drawn by Mouse Guard and Devastator artist Nate Pride.

One of the rewards you can claim for $40 is an autographed set of Probamon playing cards to go along with your book. Get ‘em while you can: there are only 25 available and 14 are already spoken for…

Gobble gobble, motherfuckers! Here are some more articles I’ve written for Crave Online over the past month or so. Enjoy them with a generous portion of stuffing. And by “generous portion,” I mean eat all the stuffing. That shit’s tasty!

6 Reasons To Skip Thanksgiving

5 Ways To Pass Time During The NBA Lockout

Teenagers Are Constantly Jumping

10 More Things About The 90s We Hope Will Make A Comeback

7 Fictional Places To Occupy

Like many Americans, I’m currently hard at at work browsing Facebook and making very little money doing so. This year, due to budget reasons, I called off a lavish vacation I was planning to exotic Pasadena, California. I’ll have to wait another year to explore the curious curios of the devine Rose Bowl Flea Market. Instead, I’m in the middle of planning an around the world staycation. In case you’ve forgotten your 2008 buzzwords, a “staycation” is a stay-at-home vacation. So, how do you have a globetrotting staycation? It’s easy: just bring diverse foods and entertainments into your shitty apartment and cry so much you start pretending…

Food: Sure, you could cook and eat regular sausage. But what if the sausage you got from the grocery store was… polish? Suddenly, you’re transported to Warsaw, freezing your ass off while sadly touring the old Jewish ghetto and wondering if Stalin also liked polish sausage. He apparently liked kotlety, “Russian Mince Cakes,” so why not sausage, hmm?

Entertainment: Sure, you could watch a regular old movie. But what if the movie you watched on Netflix streaming was… Roberto Benigni’s unloved adaptation of Pinocchio? Suddenly, you’re in Italy, wondering what you ever liked about Roberto Benigni. You could also order an Italian “pizza” (peet-zah) and blow what little money you have at an Italian online casino. You’ll be like a high-rolling, unemployed James Bond! Except the coolest gadget in your arsenal will be a smart phone that Verizon shut-off, because you can’t afford the monthly bill.

Dancing: I still have some MP3s from my world music class in college, so… ughhhh…

I wrote my first book!

It’s called Snarkicide and it’s the story of a sad-sack horror movie fan who gets blogged to death. Here’s a summary:

Jayson Arnold, aka “Uncle Creepzone,” is an obsessed, obese horror film fan who prefers torture porn to any other kind. He runs The Creepzone, the worst horror movie news blog on the internet.

When Jayson takes part in an deceiving marketing tie-in for Murder Upload, the worst horror movie ever made, he pisses off The Creepzone’s only loyal reader. Told through a series of blog entries, Jayson’s real life soon becomes a horror movie, and his loyal reader has now become… his worst nightmare!

Snarkicide debuted at #14 on Kindle’s Parody Book chart. Neat!

You can get the Kindle version on Amazon for just 99 cents.

(Same price for the Nook version.)

Since the start of the summer, I’ve been blogging for the popular entertainment site CraveOnline. Here are a few comedy articles I’ve written for them:

• 7 Hip-Hop Remixes of the Cheers Theme
• Slippers: They’re Not Just For Old People!
• The Little Mermaid Ride’s Big Omission
• Gross! 5 Retro Ads For Slime Toys
• Netflix’s New Strategy: Do Stupid Things
• 7 Cartoon Shorts That Became TV Shows
• Behind The Fail – Fridge In Car Trunk